baby-in-a-tardis: marciellesmusings: blueeyedangel-greeneyedhunter: Dear Metatron, I hope you step on a lego. Regards, the Supernatural Fandom I love how - I hope you step on a lego - is the absolute worst thing we can think of You’ve obviously never stepped on a lego.
ohdickins: littl-ebird: laviesanspeur: lightly-living: iam-livingdeadgirl: nevvzealand: one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days i think you may be a bit retarded because no tears meant like no tears in your hair; no tangles…. ...
i said i was only going online for 10 minutes. its been 5 years.
lynzave: today these kids were talking and being really rude during a test so I finally fulfilled my dream of telling them off by yelling “I AM FAILING THIS CLASS AND YOU DILDOS AREN’T HELPING MY SITUATION, LET ME TAKE MY TEST” and it went dead silent for like two seconds and one person snickered and the teacher said “don’t you dare laugh, she’s absolutely right” I’ve never had a school...
charlamagnethagod: The two hardest things in the world are trying not to eat out of boredom and not taking 6 hour naps after school
macarena-of-time: i hope revving your motorcycle engine in the middle of the night made you feel better about your small penis
knightscrest: knightscrest: why is south korea nicer than north korea? south korea has a seoul
thatfunnyblog: KATE MIDDLETON’S BABY WILL BE THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE AND IF THAT ISN’T THE GREATEST NEWS YOU’VE HEARD TODAY THEN YOU CAN GET OUT OF MY FACE.
baby-pigeon-in-the-trench-coat: spainstateofmind: thebadwolf: Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful. you can go fuck yourself my mum did this and didnt tell anyone so when my sister put a bunch in her mouth she spat them out and started crying and now she has trust issues
longlivesherlock: whorville: whorville: Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The C I F*CKING GET IT NOW IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS
moltres: overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
me: *goes on the computer*
parents: OH I GUESS SINCE YOU'RE ON THE COMPUTER IT MEANS THAT YOU'RE PERFECTLY 100% BETTER NOW GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND GET MARRIED AND DIE
"Do you know how many calories are in that?"
“…Do you know how many fucks I give?”